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IMPORTANT, MUST BE READ... : My On Again, Off Again Yoga Practice
Title : My On Again, Off Again Yoga Practice

My On Again, Off Again Yoga Practice

IMPORTANT, MUST BE READ... by Gwenn Marie

Clearing Mist past times Melina Meza

For the past times 5 years, I’ve maintained a fairly consistent yoga practice, including a demanding five-week instructor certification course of educational activity inwards India, where nosotros sometimes practiced 5 hours a day. But this past times year, it’s been frustratingly hard to create so. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 complicated cross-country relocation from California to Maryland required 2 moves together with wreaked havoc amongst my unloose energy together with exercise schedule. Then a nasty autumn resulted inwards shoulder together with human knee injuries that took nearly 4 months of painful recuperation—and no yoga exercise (except, thankfully, for pranayama).

Off the mat for such a long time, I was cranky together with achy together with convinced my trunk was falling apart for good. When I lastly was able to acquire dorsum on the mat, I experienced a dispiriting together with humbling “starting all over again” human relationship amongst my practice. Everything was hard together with hurt. After years of practice, I felt similar an absolute beginner again. Then afterwards a calendar month of regular sessions, only every bit I was starting to experience stiff together with confident again, I was felled past times a bad mutual frigidity that left me unable to exercise for around other month. 

Now, afterwards a few weeks of painful re-entry, I’m seeing glimmers of promise again. Familiar forcefulness together with flexibility are returning, together with my trunk is easing dorsum into the benefits of a regular practice. But cataract surgeries inwards both eyes loom inwards the side past times side month, together with in 1 trial again, I’ll live off the mat for a few weeks. It’s tempting to allow myself to abandon exercise until that’s behind me, but I know ameliorate than to succumb to those thoughts, fifty-fifty knowing what’s inwards store when I approach the mat again—a sense of dread.

By now, I’m all besides accustomed to that sinking feeling of fearfulness together with defeat when attempting fifty-fifty 1 circular of Sunday Salutations feels beyond my capacity. When the tiniest progress feels painfully irksome together with frustrating. When I’ve lost the forcefulness to fifty-fifty endeavor arm residue poses. When getting dorsum to exercise “the agency it was” feels impossible. 

So what’s behind that fearfulness together with dread? For me, it’s experiencing the sense of loss I experience every fourth dimension I can’t create a seat “like I used to.” Grieving my younger self, when Handstands together with total Wheels together with Crow were poses I could seemingly “float” into—but no more. There a stiff sadness most losing youthful abilities together with all that portends. 

I’m working to convey what is together with celebrate what I notwithstanding tin give the axe do, which is plenty. I’m working to taste my exercise again, fifty-fifty though I gauge it to live diminished. Perhaps it’s past times fourth dimension to convey that occasionally existence off the mat is what’s happening now, together with that wanting my exercise to e'er live “the agency it was” is non the most supportive aspiration every bit I age. Perhaps it’s fourth dimension to encompass the persuasion that whatsoever fourth dimension on the mat is good—even, together with especially, when I fearfulness it the most.

I remind myself that this is the fourth dimension to exercise my human relationship to the niyama of santosha, or contentment inwards the acquaint 2d inwards whatsoever circumstance. For me, that requires letting of what was to convey joy inwards what is. And although it’s non easy, I’m learning that this is the surreptitious of aging amongst grace, on together with off the mat.

“A deeper happiness is gained when the practitioner is content.” —The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, II.42

Gwenn Marie, RYT-200 is an Alpha Boomer of 70, who has practiced yoga for to a greater extent than than twenty years. In 2013, at 67, she studied at the Arhanta Yoga Ashram inwards Khajuraho, India. She taught introductory workshops together with classic Hatha yoga to seniors inwards Borrego Springs, California, together with late relocated to Annapolis, Maryland, where she is seeking her side past times side chance to teach.


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